Ned comes over acting really strange. Tells my eight-year-old daughter to get on upstairs to fuck her brother’s brains out. After an uncomfortable couple of hours, Ned stands up and says, “I bet you think I can’t push this here couch over.” He’s really mad. Offended. He stands up. I’ve never seen Ned act like this. He bends over and really lays into the couch. I start to think he might be able to actually push it over. I stand up because I don’t want to spill my drink. He manages to tilt it but he can’t get it all the way over and now he’s more furious. He kicks the couch several times and falls into a heap on the floor, crying. My ten-year-old son comes down and points at Ned. He hollers up the stairs to his sister, “Sad man! Sad man!” and she comes running down to join in the bullying. It looks like a lot of fun so I start jumping up and down, shouting “Piss on him! Piss on him!” and the ten-year-old runs over and pulls out his penis and lets go and the eight-year-old comes over and bends down and shoots a frankly impressive stream of urine onto Ned and I feel bad but I’m having so much fun. And so is Ned! Rolling around on the floor and laughing, soaked in weird-smelling kid urine. We’re all having such a wonderful time!
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